David D Writer

HOW MY COUSIN’S INSURANCE CLAIM TURNED INTO A FULL-BLOWN COMEDY SERIES I never believed in miracles until I watched my cousin attempt to file an insurance claim. This man single-handedly created a five-season Netflix-worthy comedy series without realizing he was the main actor, director, script writer, and unlicensed stuntman. .

THE DAY MY GUY TRIED BUDGETING AND HIS WALLET FILED FOR DIVORCE If you’ve ever watched someone attempt financial planning with the confidence of a man who has only ₦2,800 in his bank account but the ego of a billionaire, then congratulations — you know exactly what I experienced the day my guy decided he was finally going to “take control of his financial future.” .

  THE DAY I REALIZED MY CREDIT SCORE HAS TRUST ISSUES WITH ME I always thought my credit score was like a loyal dog—always by my side, wagging its numerical tail, happy that I was feeding it responsibly. But that day, oh that fateful day, I realized my credit score has trust issues with me. It looked at my financial behavior like I was the person who “accidentally” deletes all emails labeled “Important” and then wonders why the world is conspiring against them. .

  WHY USING A CASH-BACK CREDIT CARD MADE ME MORE BROKE Let me start by saying this: credit cards are dangerous. No, really, they are the financial equivalent of handing a toddler a flamethrower. And cash-back credit cards? Oh, they are the glittery, shiny, “you-can-trust-me-I’m-good-money” version of that toddler-flamethrower combo. .

  MY FRIEND’S FAKE BUSINESS PLAN THAT SOUNDED LIKE A NETFLIX SCAM DOCUMENTARY Some ideas are good. Some ideas are mediocre. And then there’s my friend Jason. Jason has ideas that belong in a Netflix scam documentary narrated by someone with a deep, serious voice, staring solemnly at stock footage of confused people and slightly terrified office spaces. .

THE DAY MY GUY TRIED BUDGETING AND HIS WALLET FILED FOR DIVORCE Budgeting. The word alone sounds like a gentle suggestion whispered by angels in a harmonious choir. But let me tell you, for my friend—let’s call him Mike—budgeting was less of an angelic suggestion and more of a full-blown financial horror show. Picture this: a grown man sitting at a dining table, calculator in one hand, coffee in the other, staring at a spreadsheet like it had just insulted his mother. That’s Mike. .