David D Writer

WHY MY EMERGENCY FUND NOW NEEDS ITS OWN EMERGENCY FUND I always believed that having an emergency fund would make me feel like a responsible adult. Financial experts everywhere kept chanting the same gospel: “Save three to six months of expenses! Build a financial safety net! Protect your financial future!” .

HOW MY CRYPTO WALLET LOST WEIGHT FASTER THAN MY GYM MEMBERSHIP If you ever thought financial crises were slow, torturous experiences, you clearly haven’t met cryptocurrency. My crypto wallet lost more weight in a week than I did during my six-month gym membership—without even sweating. And yes, it’s real money, not Monopoly cash. It all began innocently. I opened an exchange account with grand dreams of financial freedom, my eyes glittering with visions of moonshots, portfolio growth, and Lamborghinis parked in my imaginary driveway. Instead, I got a heart attack, a panic disorder, and the most hilarious financial tragedy you can imagine. --- THE PROMISE OF CRYPTO RICHES .

THE DAY I TRIED UNDERSTANDING APR AND NEEDED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT Interest rates are supposed to be simple numbers, a straightforward way to calculate the cost of borrowing money, right? Wrong. That was the day I discovered that APR—Annual Percentage Rate—was less a number and more a secret language invented by ancient financial wizards to test human sanity. .

HOW MY FRIEND’S CAR INSURANCE CLAIM TURNED INTO A STAND-UP COMEDY PERFORMANCE Car insurance is supposed to feel like a safety net, a reassuring financial safeguard that cushions the blow when life decides to play bumper cars with your reality. But for my friend, it turned into something far more entertaining—a full-blown stand-up comedy performance starring him, his insurance agent, and a series of unfortunate paperwork disasters that even Netflix would reject for being too absurd. .

WHY MY PAYDAY FEELS LIKE A TRAILER FOR ANOTHER FINANCIAL DISASTER MOVIE Payday is supposed to feel like a victory parade. You know, that euphoric moment when your bank account pings, and you imagine yourself sipping champagne while your investments multiply effortlessly. But in my life, payday feels less like triumph and more like the opening scene of a financial disaster movie, complete with ominous music, dramatic zoom-ins on my dwindling account balance, and suspenseful staring contests with my budget planner. .

THE DAY I TRIED USING AI TO PICK STOCKS AND IT TOLD ME TO PRAY I have always considered myself moderately intelligent, especially when it comes to financial matters. I read articles, followed market trends, understood terms like diversification, ETFs, dividend yield, and capital gains, and occasionally pretended to understand cryptocurrency. So naturally, when I heard that AI could pick stocks better than any human, I thought, “Finally, the stock market oracle I’ve been waiting for.” .