David D Writer

THE DAY I APPLIED FOR A CREDIT CARD AND GOT APPROVED FOR HUMILITY INSTEAD I woke up that Tuesday morning feeling unstoppable. I was convinced I could conquer the world of personal finance. I had dreams of a shiny new credit card, the kind that screams “financial responsibility” but secretly whispers, “Buy all the gadgets you’ve been dreaming of!” I imagined myself swiping it confidently at every store, accumulating rewards points, cashback, and elite status. Little did I know, the universe had a different plan—one that involved a crash course in humility, embarrassment, and existential reflection. --- THE SPARKLING PROMISE OF FINANCIAL FREEDOM I had always admired credit cards. They are the adult version of a golden ticket. The brochures promised low interest rates, no annual fees for the first year, exclusive rewards, and VIP perks. I thought, “Finally, I can build my credit score, earn cashback, and still maintain my impeccable style.” .

MY HILARIOUS ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND MORTGAGE RATES IN 2026 I have always prided myself on being financially literate. Or at least, I thought I was. I mean, I can balance a bank account, understand credit card statements, and even buy stocks without crying too much. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the epic, life-altering, brain-melting experience of trying to understand mortgage rates in 2026. .

HOW MY UNCLE JOINED FOREX TRADING AND TURNED OUR WIFI INTO A WAR ZONE If peace had a physical form in my house, it packed its bags and left the very day my uncle discovered forex trading, online investment platforms, and the “life-changing potential of digital finance.” Before that, our home was calm, peaceful, and beautifully quiet—the kind of place where the Wi-Fi password was shared freely, like love and air. But then my uncle watched one motivational YouTube video, and instantly believed he was the next global financial genius. Those videos with titles like: .

WHY I SHOULD NEVER TAKE INVESTMENT TIPS FROM SOMEONE WEARING SLIDES IN WINTER There are many red flags in the world of financial planning. Some are subtle—like someone telling you they made “guaranteed passive income” from an investment they can’t pronounce. Others are loud, dramatic, and immediately life-threatening—like taking investment advice from a man wearing slides, ankle-out, in the freezing heart of winter. And sadly, that man… was my coworker. I should have noticed the warning signs. .

    THE DAY MY BANK ACCOUNT STARTED MOTIVATING ME – A HILARIOUS GUIDE TO BROKE LIFE & FINANCIAL FREEDOM A Comedy Article for Americans Who Love Money, Motivation & Madness If money had emotions, my bank account would have filed a restraining order against me. Every time I check the balance, the numbers tremble like a toddler reciting a poem. One time, I opened my banking app and the app literally closed itself, like: “Please sir, give me space. I’m suffering.” .

MY COWORKER’S TERRIBLE CRYPTO ADVICE THAT COST ME $7.50 If anyone ever says, “Bro, I know a guaranteed way to make passive income,” please run. Don’t look back. Don’t pause. Just sprint like the stock market during a Federal Reserve interest rate announcement. Because that is exactly how I lost $7.50, the most emotionally catastrophic financial loss in the history of personal budgeting and personal finance. Not seven thousand dollars. Not seventy thousand. Just seven dollars, fifty cents, and unlimited embarrassment. .