THE PASTOR THAT WENT VIRAL AFTER CASTING OUT A DEMON IN TRAFFIC
🕊️🚗 THE PASTOR THAT WENT VIRAL AFTER CASTING OUT A DEMON IN TRAFFIC
(When Deliverance Meets Danfo — A Naija Miracle in Motion for Financial Prosperity)
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Scene 1: The Holy Congestion
It was a bright Monday morning — Lagos sun burning like inflation on your savings account.
Cars were packed like overleveraged investments on Third Mainland Bridge. Drivers sweating like CEOs after failed stock trades, horns honking louder than cryptocurrency volatility, and conductors swearing in all dialects known to mankind.
“Move na! Move!” one shouted.
Another replied, “If your car no get engine, push am with faith — like diversifying your financial portfolio!”
People were frustrated. NEPA had misbehaved, fuel scarcity trending like a limited-time investment opportunity, and even Okada riders were asking:
> “Is this the Nigeria we prayed for… or just a bad loan repayment plan?”
In the middle of this chaos sat Pastor Samson — founder of Fire-for-Fire Ministries International (Traffic & Financial Deliverance Branch).
He was on his way to a revival crusade in Ikeja when his Toyota Camry refused to move — a mechanical failure or maybe a demonic asset freeze.
Instead of opening the bonnet like normal, Pastor Samson jumped out with Bible, oil, and microphone.
> “This is not mechanical — this is demonic interference, like bad debt in your credit score!”
Lagos paused. 😭
One driver muttered:
> “Ah! Which kind traffic and financial deliverance be this?”
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Scene 2: The Battle Begins
Pastor Samson faced his car, sweating like someone reviewing their bank statements after tax season.
He shouted:
> “Spirit of delay! Hear me now! Every demon of traffic jam and poor investment decision — OUT!”
He sprinkled anointing oil on his bonnet. The car coughed once, like receiving a small dividend payout.
> “Receive your freedom in Jesus name and grow like compound interest!”
The car horn honked — POOOOOM!
One woman held her child and shouted:
> “Jesus! The car is speaking in tongues and financial literacy!”
Another driver said,
> “Omo this man dey cast out traffic demons AND bad loans, abeg I no wan go hell, make I park!”
Within five minutes, half of Third Mainland turned into a revival ground — like an emergency seminar on wealth management.
🎶 “Every power holding my destiny and savings plan, DIE by FIRE!” 🎶
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Scene 3: The Demon Responds
Just when things calmed, a danfo bus shook violently.
Passengers screamed:
> “Driver! The bus dey move on its own — like a runaway fintech investment!”
Pastor Samson turned confidently:
> “Yes! The spirit of stubbornness and poor credit utilization is manifesting!”
He raised his microphone (nobody knows where it came from, but he probably bought it on microfinance loan).
> “Demon, who are you? Speak out — reveal your balance sheet!”
Suddenly, the bus radio played Portable’s song:
> “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a baboon!”
The crowd shouted, “Jesus!!! The demon dey sing Zazuu AND talk about liquidity!”
Pastor screamed:
> “Ah! Marine demon from Sango side, come out and liquidate your assets!”
The danfo roared forward — nearly hitting a LASTMA officer. Crowd went wild: “Miracle! Miracle!!”
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Scene 4: Traffic Revival International
Within minutes, people forgot their destinations.
Bankers dropped suits, mechanics dropped spanners, hawkers joined like angel investors funding startups.
One Gala seller shouted:
> “Daddy, pray for my Gala to sell by FIRE and generate quick ROI!”
Pastor Samson anointed her tray. By next minute, all Gala finished — instant inventory liquidation. 😂
A pure water seller asked:
> “Pastor, lay hands on my bag too!”
He prayed:
> “Your stock and cash flow will never finish!”
The bag burst open — pure water flooded the road. People screamed:
> “Na over-anointing, like leveraged credit!”
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Scene 5: The Viral Moment
Someone recorded with their phone. Within 10 minutes, video hit TikTok:
> “Pastor casts out traffic demon AND bad investments on Third Mainland Bridge 😂🔥 #DeliveranceInMotion #HolyFinance”
Comments went mad:
“Even demons get budget issues in Lagos.”
“Pastor deserves reality show — Keeping Up With Holy Wealth!”
“If your car dey knock engine, check your loan repayment schedule first.”
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Scene 6: When LASTMA Tried to Intervene
LASTMA arrived.
> “Pastor, you are blocking traffic!”
He turned dramatically:
> “No sir, I’m blocking principalities AND bad credit cycles!”
LASTMA: “We need you to move your car.”
Pastor: “You can’t move what God is moving — like high-interest investments.”
An officer shouted:
> “Abeg deliver my salary too — e don delay since January!”
Pastor poured oil on him:
> “You are free — balance restored!”
The man fainted. Crowd screamed: Holy Ghost portfolio management!
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Scene 7: The Testimony Hour
Traffic became testimony hour — a financial miracle seminar.
One driver:
> “Pastor! Since your prayer, my air conditioner started working! Glory — like dividend payout!”
Another man:
> “Sir, my wife never called me in 3 days. After prayer, she texted — love compounded!”
Pastor raised mic: “Hallelujah!”
Crowd: “Fireeeee!”
Plantain seller:
> “Before, I sold one pack/hour. After prayer, five — angel dash ₦500!”
Pastor:
> “That’s angelic POS — instant liquidity!”
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Scene 8: Battle With A.C. Demon
Car restarted, but A.C. blowing hot air.
> “Spirit of heat and inflation on electricity bills, come out in Jesus name!”
He blew three times — dust sneezed on him. Crowd:
> “Deliverance-resistant spirit!” 😂
Woman: “Maybe A.C. just spoil.”
Pastor:
> “Silence! Don’t reduce spiritual warfare to mechanics — think financial troubleshooting!”
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Scene 9: News Explosion
By evening, CNN, BBC, Instablog9ja:
> “Lagos Pastor Heals Engines & Bank Accounts in Traffic Miracle!”
Memes:
“Check Engine = Check Loan.”
“Pastor Samson vs Toyota Spirit & Microfinance.”
“Deliverance Express — Coming to Netflix with Wealth Management Tips.”
Celebrities reacted:
Davido: “Pastor, pray for my car and crypto portfolio.”
Wizkid: “If he fit cast out traffic demon, he fit cast out music stress AND taxes.”
Portable: “Na my song chase demon AND bad debts!”
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Scene 10: The Interview
Channels TV:
> “Sir, people say you turned bridge to crusade ground.”
Pastor Samson:
> “Traffic is spirit AND financial congestion. Lagos will now move by grace and investments!”
Reporter: “Madness?”
Pastor: “Even Jesus cast demons publicly. Why not on bridge?”
Next week: VGC roundabout — same spiritual and financial deliverance.
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Scene 11: Miracle Continues
Traffic reportedly reduced — one hour of divine liquidity.
Pastor opened new branches:
Traffic Deliverance Ministry, Ojota Branch
Holy Clutch Repair Fire Zone
Mount Zion Wheel Balancing Cathedral
Slogan:
> “If your car no move, your destiny & portfolio no go park!”
Released album: Demons in Motion Vol.1
Tracklist:
“Brake No Work But God Still Move Me”
“Holy Ghost Gear One”
“No Traffic, No Glory & Compound Interest”
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Scene 12: Global Recognition
UN invited him for conference: “Faith & Transportation Investments.”
Arrived late — traffic.
> “This is why the ministry continues — even for airport congestion hedging.”
Next project: Delivering aircraft that delay take-off. Pilot fainted, passengers sang “Way Maker.”
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Scene 13: Miracle Scandal
Mechanic revealed:
> “Pastor car no spoil. E just no put fuel — like mismanaged budget.”
Internet erupted: miracle or clever financial metaphor?
Pastor on Instagram Live:
> “Even without fuel, faith can move engines AND portfolios!”
Sponsorship: Mobil Oil —
> “Faith may move mountains, but fuel and insurance coverage still necessary.” 😂
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Scene 14: Final Miracle
One year later: Anniversary crusade on Third Mainland.
Banner:
> “FREE from Every Jam in Life & Investment Delay!”
5,000 cars attended. Traffic locked. Pastor:
> “Any spirit causing delay in destiny OR credit score — RECEIVE EXPRESSWAY!”
Cars honked in agreement. Someone:
> “Pray for my Uber rating & passive income too!”
Pastor: “It shall be 5 stars forever!”
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Scene 15: Moral of the Story
When Lagos traffic meets Holy Spirit AND financial wisdom, miracles happen.
Engine stops? Credit delayed? Don’t panic. Just stretch your hand and shout:
> “By fire, by force, move by grace AND compound interest!”
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Bonus Quote 💬
> “You can fix a car, but only faith can fix Lagos AND your portfolio.” — Pastor Samson, 2025
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Lol that guy's beyond extraordinary 😩
ReplyDeleteSomeone shout power 😂
ReplyDeleteEven Demons are scared 😂
ReplyDeleteTalk to me Pastor
ReplyDeleteMehn😂
ReplyDeleteFantastic 😂
ReplyDelete