THE DAY MY POWER BANK STARTED ACTING LIKE MY EX

THE DAY MY POWER BANK STARTED ACTING LIKE MY EX

A psychological romantic comedy between man, battery, and financial mismanagement.

You see, there are breakups, and then there’s that emotional damage that happens when your power bank starts catching feelings—just like your stocks tanking after crypto volatility. Mine didn’t just catch feelings — it caught attitude, pride, and ancestral audacity.

At first, we were in love. My power bank was that kind of partner who always had my back — fully charged, glowing blue light, and ready to revive my dying phone just like a wealth management plan resurrects a sinking retirement portfolio. We went everywhere together: lectures, church, weddings, even NEPA-forsaken zones where hope, electricity, and business funding go to die.

But one faithful morning, things changed. 😭

I plugged my phone in, pressed the power button gently — nothing. I tapped again. Still nothing. I shook the wire like adjusting investment risk portfolios during volatile markets. Still nothing.

That’s when it hit me. My power bank had started acting like my ex — full of excuses, zero energy, and pretending to be tired… just like a fintech loan application that never approves.

💔

At first, I was calm. Maybe it’s just “low voltage,” I told myself. But then it started charging other people’s phones, and I realized it was cheating… like someone trading your cryptocurrency assets behind your back. 😭

Bro, I was in public, watching this treacherous 20,000mAh demon charge my guy’s iPhone like love never existed. I confronted it, plugged my phone back, and guess what it said in spirit?

> “It’s not you, it’s your charger.” 😭😭

Omo! That’s how toxic relationships—and high-risk investments—start.

---

I took it home, tried to talk things out. Wiped its surface gently like offering a retirement plan consultation. I said:

> “Baby, I know NEPA has been stressing you, but we can fix this.”

The power bank blinked once — that dangerous blue blink of disrespect — and died. I cried small, like losing compound interest gains overnight.

I remembered all the nights we survived together: long lectures, blackout nights, and online trading crashes. But now? Now it just blinks, pretends to charge for two seconds, and dies faster than a stock market prediction gone wrong.

😭💡

---

At this point, I suspected spiritual attack—or maybe bad financial karma. I carried it to a phone repairer, the kind of man who wears magnifying glasses like a forensic accountant inspecting audit reports.

He looked at me, sighed deeply, and said:

> “Oga, this one don get emotional trauma.”

I asked: “From who?”

He said: “From you. You dey overcharge am.” 😭😭

I said: “Ah, is love now a crime?”

He replaced the cord. It still misbehaved. Changed the port — it started charging two seconds, then stopped like it remembered all the heartbreak I caused.

Bro, I was in pain. Emotional, physical, and electrical portfolio pain.

---

Then one night, I was outside, phone at 2%, trying to text my babe “Good night ❤️” — boom! My power bank blinked and died. No goodbye, no explanation. Ghosted me like a failed crowdfunding investment. 😭

That’s when I realized—love is not about energy capacity, it’s about consistency. Like a steady retirement fund over reckless trading.

From that night, I renamed it “Deborah 2.0.” Both fine, powerful, but absolutely unreliable—like cryptocurrency market trends. 💀

---

Next morning, I charged it at a friend’s shop. NEPA brought light. Power bank started behaving. I looked at it and said:

> “So you only perform when another man is around?”

It blinked again. Pride. Just like investors ignoring you until profits appear elsewhere.

At that moment, I decided to move on. Placed it gently in my drawer, whispered: “We’re done,” and walked away dramatically like a man starring in a Nollywood financial heartbreak scene.

But as I left, I heard a faint “click” — the charging light came on. 😭😭😭

Omo, this thing is playing with my destiny and portfolio.

---

Problem with power banks is the same with some relationships—and some high-yield savings accounts—you invest too much, they give small, and expect appreciation. You buy cables, pamper them, yet they betray you when you need them most.

NEPA can go off 7 times in an hour—and suddenly your power bank will say “battery low.” Like bro, you had one job!

😂

I started seeing trauma everywhere. When my phone said “Battery 5%,” I got flashbacks—like losing money in day trading scams.

I even avoided people with similar power banks. Seeing someone else’s 20,000mAh felt like seeing your ex portfolio outperform yours.

Then one day, I saw my power bank charging peacefully at a friend’s shop.

> “Wait… are you back together with him?”

Friend laughed. “Omo, this power bank dey work well for me o!”

Last straw. I realized it wasn’t broken—just stopped working for me. Like my ex, or a poor investment in forex trading. 😭💔🔋

---

I picked it up, whispered:

> “We had good times, but you’re not the plug I need anymore.”

Dropped it in the drawer of broken dreams, beside old earphones and dead chargers—a museum of failed connections and bank app crashes.

Now I’ve moved on. Bought a new power bank. Sleek. Quiet. Faithful. Charges me anytime. No drama, no emotional manipulation.

Sometimes I still see the old one blinking in the corner — jealous. I just smile and say:

> “See you in the recycle bin, Deborah.” 😎

Financial takeaway: always upgrade your assets, whether it’s love, tech, or investments.

---

💡 Moral of the story:

If your power bank starts acting like your ex, don’t fix it—upgrade it. Life is too short for emotional and electrical disappointment.

Remember: consistent energy, steady investments, and diversified portfolios are the keys to a happy life. 😂🔋💸

---

💀💡 Written by: David D Writer

The only man who survived heartbreak, low battery, and volatile financial markets at the same time. ⚡😂

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