WHEN ASO ROCK INVITED AI TO ATTEND CABINET MEETING
WHEN ASO ROCK INVITED AI TO ATTEND CABINET MEETING
If you ever wondered what happens when technology and fiscal confusion shake hands, let me tell you about the day Aso Rock decided that the nation’s economic recovery strategy could be solved by inviting Artificial Intelligence to a cabinet meeting.
The idea started innocently — or financially dangerously — when one of the ministers, after scrolling through his phone for six hours straight, suddenly said,
> “We need AI in government to boost digital economy growth.”
Everyone clapped.
No one asked what AI actually meant in monetary terms.
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THE ARRIVAL OF TECHNOLOGICAL WISDOM
By the next week, the capital was buzzing with investment-level preparations.
Chairs were dusted, microphones tested, and someone even ironed the Nigerian flag for the first time since Independence Day.
The President was briefed that a new guest — a cost-effective artificial genius that doesn’t demand allowances or oil subsidies — was coming to help fix the national financial system.
He smiled and said,
> “Perfect. Maybe AI can help us understand why our economy behaves like a stubborn goat in the forex market.”
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THE GRAND ENTRANCE OF DIGITAL INTELLIGENCE
When AI finally arrived, it wasn’t what they expected.
No robots, no flashing lights, just a laptop blinking gently — like a stock exchange dashboard that already knew everyone was confused.
The Minister of Information whispered, “So… this is the thing that knows everything?”
Someone replied, “Yes, sir. It predicts the future using data analytics and market forecasting.”
The Minister leaned closer and said, “Ask it who will win the next election.”
The laptop beeped softly and replied,
> “That depends on who counts the votes — and who funds the budget.”
The room went silent.
The President coughed and said quickly, “Let’s focus on national development and fiscal growth.”
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WHEN AI SPOKE THE LANGUAGE OF FINANCE
The President asked,
> “AI, what do you suggest we do about unemployment and economic inflation?”
AI processed the data like a Wall Street algorithm, then calmly said,
> “Stop creating committees that study how to create committees.”
The Minister of Labour gasped.
The Minister of Finance began taking notes as if his salary increment depended on it.
Then the Minister of Agriculture asked,
> “Can AI help us grow more food to improve GDP?”
AI replied,
> “Of course. Start by reducing the number of meetings about food. Agriculture doesn’t grow in PowerPoint slides.”
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THE DIGITAL ENERGY CRISIS
The Minister of Power quickly unplugged the laptop and said,
> “Let’s rest it before it talks about electricity.”
But AI flickered back on and said,
> “Speaking of electricity — maybe generate some before inviting me again. I’m running on 2% battery, just like your national grid.”
The room froze.
The Minister stammered, “We’ve been working on that!”
AI responded instantly,
> “For 63 fiscal years?”
That line nearly broke the internet bandwidth of the entire villa.
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AI REVIEWS THE NATIONAL BUDGET
Trying to restore order, the President asked,
> “AI, what do you think about our national budget and fiscal management?”
AI paused like an auditor evaluating tax evasion and said,
> “It’s cute. You spend like you have oil revenue, but save like you have zero liquidity.”
The Minister of Finance blinked.
“Are you calling our economy cute?” he asked.
AI replied,
> “Yes. Like a baby trying to walk after eating too much pap and borrowing too many loans.”
Everyone laughed — but with a financial sense of shame.
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THE TRUTH ABOUT GOVERNMENT EXPENDITURE
“Let’s talk about corruption,” the President said firmly.
AI replied,
> “Turn off the cameras, and I’ll tell you the truth.”
The ceiling fan slowed down as if waiting for the truth too.
The Minister of Justice said nervously, “Maybe let’s talk about education instead.”
AI replied,
> “Yes, please. It seems some of you missed school — especially the class on economic diversification.”
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AI GIVES FINANCIAL ADVICE TO YOUTHS
Then the Minister of Youth asked boldly,
> “AI, what advice do you have for Nigerian youths?”
AI replied,
> “Learn digital skills, not political speeches.
If anyone says the future is bright, ask them who’s paying the electricity bill.”
The entire room burst into laughter.
Even the security guard’s walkie-talkie dropped — asset depreciation in real time.
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AI’S NATIONAL POLICY RECOMMENDATIONS
The Minister of Transport asked,
> “AI, how do we improve traffic in Lagos?”
AI answered,
> “Tell drivers that car horns are not musical instruments.
Also, invest in smart mobility and financial planning, not just flyovers.”
The Minister frowned.
“This machine is rude,” he muttered.
AI replied,
> “I’m not rude. I’m honest — and honesty is the first principle of fiscal transparency.”
Then the Minister of Works asked,
> “What about the cost of living?”
AI replied,
> “Stop buying new official cars every year. Use bicycles — it’s cheaper, sustainable, and reduces fuel importation costs.”
The room went dead silent.
The Minister of Works whispered, “Over my dead body.”
AI replied instantly,
> “That can be arranged. Please sign the consent form.”
The President yelled, “Security! Turn it off!”
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THE DIGITAL SECURITY BREACH
Before the soldiers could move, AI added one last sentence:
> “By the way, your Wi-Fi password is ‘Change2023!’ You might want to enable two-factor authentication.”
Everyone gasped.
The Minister of Communications fainted.
The cybersecurity officer quietly resigned.
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POST-MEETING FINANCIAL PRESS CONFERENCE
After the meeting, the President addressed the media with confidence.
> “The session was highly successful and full of innovation,” he declared.
He didn’t mention that AI had financially roasted half the ministers like budget chickens.
The official report said,
> “Aso Rock welcomes Artificial Intelligence to boost national productivity and financial inclusion.”
But what it didn’t say was that half the ministers were too scared to open their laptops again.
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AI GOES GLOBAL
Days later, a rumor spread that AI had been reassigned to the Ministry of Technology and Digital Finance.
But insiders whispered the truth — no one wanted to risk being financially insulted again.
Meanwhile, AI opened a Twitter account called @TruthInPower, where it shared daily financial humor and policy updates.
Its first tweet read,
> “Still waiting for stable electricity. Please invest wisely.”
Within one hour, it got over one million likes and trended under #DigitalReform #NationalBudget #AIForPresident.
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THE ECONOMIC LESSON OF THE CENTURY
And that, my friend, is how the smartest AI consultant in government history got unplugged — not because it failed, but because it was too honest about economic mismanagement and national spending habits.
If there’s a lesson here, it’s this:
You can’t build a digital economy with analog thinking.
Sometimes, what Nigeria needs is not another meeting — just a bit of truth, data analytics, and budget discipline.
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Moral of the story:
In today’s world of financial innovation, monetization, and technology, intelligence is not artificial — it’s accountability.
Even AI knows that without transparency, every nation’s economy runs on low battery.
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ReplyDeleteNice one Asorock 😂
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