WHEN MY BOSS SAID “GOD WILL REWARD YOU” INSTEAD OF SALARY
WHEN MY BOSS SAID “GOD WILL REWARD YOU” INSTEAD OF SALARY
It was a Monday morning, and the office was buzzing with that unique blend of financial stress, caffeine, and mild panic. I had just finished my fifth cup of coffee, hoping that maybe this would be the week my bank account would finally reflect all the effort I put into pretending to work while actually surviving on sheer optimism.
. I walked into my boss’s office, the one with walls so thick and a door so heavily locked that I suspected he was secretly hiding a small country in there. I had completed my tasks for the week—or at least most of them—because let’s be honest, “completed” is a flexible term when it comes to Excel sheets, email threads, and pretending to understand corporate ROI projections.
I sat down, bracing myself for the conversation I had been rehearsing in my head since Friday afternoon: “Please, sir, could I kindly receive my salary?” You would think that this is a simple, straightforward request in a civilized world. But no. My boss has a different philosophy.
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The Phrase That Broke My Bank Account
He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes squinting like he was about to reveal the secrets of the universe—or at least a secret that would make me cry into my instant noodles later. And then he said the words that will forever be etched into my soul:
"God will reward you."
Pause. Rewind. Play again. Did he just… did he just say what I think he said? My ears betrayed me. My brain went into slow motion. My coffee trembled in my hand. “God… will… reward… me?” I thought I misheard. Maybe he meant, “God will reward you later,” like in five business years or at the age of 105 when I’m too old to enjoy a high-yield investment.
I blinked. I cleared my throat. I asked again, cautiously: “Sir… my salary?”
"God will reward you," he repeated. And this time he smiled like he had just invented a revolutionary new way to keep employees mildly financially tortured.
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Walking Out With Spiritual ROI
I left the office, not angry, not sad, but in that weird, stupefied state where you laugh, cry, and scream internally at the same time. I walked past my colleagues, who were all busy pretending to work and looking extremely competent. I whispered to the nearest one: “He said God will reward me instead of paying me.”
He nodded knowingly, as if this was a common occurrence. “Oh, you’ll see. That’s his favorite line. Yesterday, he told the janitor that God would reward him for sweeping the floor, and the floor is still dirty.”
I nodded, absorbing the wisdom of my coworker while also questioning the entire concept of employment. God would reward me, huh? Maybe with a sudden lottery win. Maybe with an unexpected inheritance from a long-lost relative I’ve never met. Or maybe with an eternal sense of financial scarcity and the ability to survive on instant noodles for another month.
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Mom’s Advice on Spiritual Income
That day, I went home and stared at my empty wallet. I looked at my bank account. I stared at my phone. I called my mom. I asked her, in a tone of desperate urgency, “Mom, what do I do if God will reward me instead of my salary?”
She said the most comforting words possible: “Pray, my child, and also don’t forget to eat.” Thanks, Mom. Very helpful.
I tried to be positive. I thought maybe this is a spiritual growth exercise. Maybe God was teaching me patience. Maybe He wanted me to meditate on the ephemeral nature of money while sipping tea and contemplating life choices in the context of personal finance.
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Tuesday: Anticipating Divine Payroll
I went back to the office on Tuesday. Maybe the miracle would happen today. Maybe my boss would have a change of heart. Maybe angels would deliver my financial assets in small envelopes tied to the wings of pigeons.
Nope. Same line. “God will reward you.”
I started observing my boss. I wanted to understand his logic. Maybe he had been through a similar situation. Maybe he knew some secret formula for life where employees survive on faith and leftover samosas from office parties. Or maybe he just liked watching humans flail in confusion.
I noticed that he smiled whenever he said it. Like he was sharing a cosmic joke. Like he had discovered the ultimate life hack: keep paying minimal attention to your employees and let God handle the monetary compensation. Genius. Absolutely genius.
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The Office Adopts Divine Economics
By Wednesday, the situation became increasingly surreal. My colleagues started whispering about their own “God rewards” moments. The IT guy claimed God would reward him for fixing the printer. The receptionist said God would reward her for answering the phone. Even the office plants seemed to nod knowingly, like they understood the spiritual economy better than us mere mortals.
I decided to test the theory. I performed my tasks with excessive diligence. I answered emails with extra enthusiasm. I smiled at every memo. I even complimented the boss’s tie, which looked like it had been designed during a mild tornado. Surely, if God was going to reward me, He’d notice effort, right?
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Thursday: Patience Is a Financial Virtue
By Thursday, my patience was thin. I had started drafting imaginary resignation letters. Each letter began with: “Dear Universe, my boss believes in divine rewards, but I believe in financial liquidity. Let’s negotiate…”
But still, no tangible reward. Just spiritual ones. I got a sense of deep enlightenment. My soul was richer. My heart was fuller. My stomach was emptier.
By Friday, the office had collectively accepted the new reality. We weren’t paid in money. We were paid in abstract, metaphysical currency. God was our banker. And we were, apparently, very, very patient.
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Weekend Reflection: Financial Meditation
I went home and stared at the ceiling, reflecting on the absurdity of modern employment. I imagined a world where all bosses communicated exclusively through phrases like “The universe will provide” and “Your destiny awaits”. Imagine explaining that to a landlord: “Sir, I can’t pay rent this month, but God will reward me!”
The weekend came, and I tried to recharge spiritually, emotionally, and financially—which is impossible when your income stream is pending divine approval. I ate instant noodles while contemplating life, the universe, and the office Wi-Fi, which by the way, worked better than my salary situation.
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Monday: Back to Spiritual Payroll
By Monday, I was back. Ready for another week of spiritual payments. Ready for another round of existential comedy. I greeted my boss with the enthusiasm of a monk and the desperation of a man who hasn’t eaten a proper meal in days.
"Good morning," I said cautiously.
"Good morning," he replied, with that same cosmic smile. "God will reward you."
I nodded. I smiled. I laughed internally, externally, and sarcastically. Because I had learned a fundamental truth: in some workplaces, monetary compensation is optional. Humor is mandatory. And God… well, God has an office too, apparently, but He’s notoriously slow with wire transfers.
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The Ledger of Life Lessons
From that day forward, I started keeping a mental ledger of all the “God rewards” I had received. So far, the only things in my account were emotional enrichment, spiritual resilience, and a growing collection of funny stories about surviving in a world where divine promises double as salary deposits.
And now, whenever someone asks me about my job, I tell them the same thing: “I don’t get paid in money. I get paid in life lessons, laughter, and the occasional existential crisis. But I hear God is a great investor.”
Because really, bro, isn’t that what work is all about? Financial literacy, investment in humor, and portfolio of life lessons.
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