WHEN MY COUSIN TRIED TO EXPLAIN BITCOIN TO THE CHIEF PRIEST
WHEN MY COUSIN TRIED TO EXPLAIN BITCOIN TO THE CHIEF PRIEST
It all started on a sunny afternoon in the village. Birds were singing, goats were judging everyone silently, and the chief priest was calmly sipping palm wine. He looked like he already knew too much about life to be impressed by anything new. Enter my cousin, Emeka. Armed with nothing but confidence and a YouTube playlist about cryptocurrency, he believed he was about to perform the greatest intellectual miracle of the century. Financial keywords: cryptocurrency investment, blockchain technology, digital asset management.
. Emeka approached the chief priest with a laptop under his arm, wearing a T-shirt that read, “I am Satoshi Nakamoto’s Nephew.” The chief priest glanced at him, slightly amused, slightly concerned, mostly thinking, “What fresh madness is this?” Keywords: passive income, high-yield investments, financial freedom.
Emeka opened his laptop, flicked the screen to life, and shouted, “Chief Priest! I am here to enlighten you about Bitcoin, the money of the future!”
The chief priest squinted. “Money of the future?” he asked, his voice sounding like sandpaper against a chalkboard.
“Yes!” Emeka said. “It’s digital money! You don’t touch it! You don’t see it! It lives… in the blockchain!” Financial keywords: digital currency, investment strategy, secure financial planning.
The chief priest leaned back, squinting harder. “Blockchain? Is that a new type of bracelet? Or… a charm?”
“No, Chief Priest! It’s a revolutionary technology that will change the world!” Emeka replied, clearly missing the confusion in the priest’s eyes. Keywords: decentralized finance, asset diversification, high-value cryptocurrency.
The chief priest nodded slowly. “I have survived droughts, wars, and goats stealing my yam. Now you come to tell me about invisible money? Interesting. Continue, young man.”
Encouraged, Emeka began. “Bitcoin is decentralized. That means no government controls it. No bank. Just people mining it.” Keywords: investment portfolio, wealth management, alternative assets.
The chief priest raised an eyebrow. “Mining? You mean like my son mining for gold under the hill?”
“Yes! Kind of… but with computers!” Emeka said enthusiastically.
The chief priest scratched his head. “Ah… computers. I understand. But tell me, how do I hold this money? I can’t see it. Can I eat it?” Financial keywords: high-ROI investments, passive revenue streams, digital wealth creation.
Emeka laughed nervously. “No, Chief Priest. You can’t eat it. But it can make you rich!”
The chief priest paused. “I see. So, invisible money makes you rich. And what happens if it disappears?”
“It… doesn’t disappear,” Emeka stammered. “Well… technically… it can… drop in value. But it’s safe if you keep it in your wallet.” Keywords: financial security, digital wallets, cryptocurrency management.
The chief priest looked genuinely worried. “Wallet? You mean like the leather one where I keep ten naira notes and my lucky talisman?”
“Yes, Chief Priest, exactly! Except digital.”
The chief priest sat quietly, rubbing his chin. He whispered, “Invisible money, computers, blockchain, wallets… my ancestors must be shaking their heads.”
Then Emeka had an idea. “Chief Priest! Let me show you a live Bitcoin transaction.” He pulled up a graph with colorful lines moving like snakes possessed by jazz music. Keywords: market trends, crypto analysis, investment forecasting.
The chief priest leaned closer. “Ah… so these snakes are money?”
Emeka blinked. “No… it’s the value of Bitcoin over time.”
The chief priest nodded slowly. “Hmm… snakes moving up and down. Fascinating. But I prefer goats. They don’t change value. You feed them, they grow. You eat them, you enjoy. Simple economics.” Financial keywords: tangible assets, sustainable investment, financial literacy.
Unfazed, Emeka continued. “Chief Priest, people mine Bitcoin using computers solving complex math problems!”
The chief priest raised both eyebrows. “Math problems? My village math is adding yams and dividing kola nuts. Complex math? What is this sorcery?”
Emeka smiled. “Yes! But once you solve the problem, you get Bitcoin as a reward!” Keywords: blockchain rewards, crypto mining, high-yield digital investment.
The chief priest leaned back, horrified. “So people sit in front of machines all day to get invisible coins… instead of farming yam? I see the world is upside down now.”
Emeka nodded enthusiastically. “Exactly! The future is here!”
The chief priest stood slowly, staring at Emeka. “Young man, I have lived for eighty-two years. I have seen spirits, wars, and the river flood my hut. You come to teach me about invisible snakes that make people rich. You say people do math for them… but… you can’t eat them. You can’t touch them. You can’t even see them. And yet, they are money.”
Emeka nodded. “Yes, Chief Priest. That’s correct!” Financial keywords: digital finance, secure investment, cryptocurrency wealth management.
The chief priest sat back down and whispered, “Perhaps my ancestors are laughing at me. Perhaps not. This is very… confusing.”
Emeka, sensing the chief priest’s confusion, tried one last time. “Chief Priest! Imagine money that lives in the sky. A cloud! People can send it anywhere in the world instantly!” Keywords: global payments, instant money transfer, fintech solutions.
The chief priest stared at him. “Money in the sky? Last week, my neighbor’s goat was in the sky… I shot an arrow. Fell down. But money? In the sky?”
“Yes! Exactly! You send it through the internet!”
The chief priest shook his head slowly. “Internet… sky money… I prefer gold and yams. At least I can see them, touch them, eat them, and… curse anyone who steals them.” Financial keywords: tangible wealth, physical assets, financial security.
Emeka, sweating profusely, said, “Chief Priest, it’s the wave of the future! Soon, everyone will use Bitcoin!”
The chief priest leaned back, closed his eyes, and said, “Emeka, I respect your passion. But I have two questions. One: If this money is invisible, how do I bless it? Two: If it disappears, who do I pray to?”
Emeka paused. He had no answer. Not a single one.
The chief priest smiled. “You are very smart. But I have seen smarter goats. Tell you what… go home, mine your invisible coins, and when they multiply, come back and teach me again. Meanwhile, I will stick to yams, kola nuts, and spirits I can see.” Financial keywords: investment safety, wealth protection, crypto portfolio.
Emeka sighed, defeated. “Yes, Chief Priest. I will return when Bitcoin is… everywhere.”
The chief priest nodded. “Good. But remember… if your Bitcoin eats my yams or scares my goats, I will not be responsible for any curses.”
And that was the day my cousin tried to explain Bitcoin to the chief priest. It became a village legend. People tell the story every market day. Children giggle. Elders shake their heads. And my cousin Emeka? He now carries a small talisman, just in case the blockchain decides to fight back. Keywords: digital wealth, cryptocurrency education, high-paying investments.
To this day, the chief priest says: “Invisible money is like invisible spirits… unnecessary trouble, but very entertaining to hear about.”
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